Carving a Path

It is just under 9 weeks since I accepted an offer on my house and marked the very first tiny step in my journey. Almost immediately after this momentous event I became paralysed by the task of packing away the house ready for moving out. I then spent nearly 5 weeks contemplating the overwhelming task of sorting through and condensing 11 rooms (my current house) into just 6 rooms (my next house). I found myself wandering through the house looking in each room, scanning every corner, cupboard and inch of floor space and wondering how I was going to do it. Then followed some spectacular (even by my standards) procrastination.

Knitting...... Facebooking............eating lots of sugar............... and just sitting looking out of the window..... a lot!

I have noticed that when I am tasked with something big I tend to look at the whole thing, I see the enormity of it and feel overwhelmed by the enormity of it and just sink into avoidance mode for as long as possible. I always seem to find something really important to do, like cleaning the skirting boards for example ( this was a favourite task when revising for my finals at university).

So when we finally agreed a completion date for the sale of the house two weeks ago I was forced to take action. What to do? The only thing to do was to break things down into manageable chunks, in order to pack the house away I would need something to pack things in.

First stop the local shops to collect empty boxes; fruit and veg boxes are the best, they are shallow so that you don't overfill them, they are strong, they stack neatly for transportation and best of all they are free.

I then started to pack away all things that I needed but didn't use every day, I sold, donated and threw away anything I hadn't used for a year or knew for sure would not fit into my new house. This helped to clear some space in the house, but more importantly it helped to clear space in my head.  I made a point of setting myself a small task each day, "Just fill four boxes and then stop" seemed to keep me motivated  "Just clear that cupboard today" helped to keep the task in perspective and things never got out of hand. My moving house mojo was released!

Before I knew it I had emptied nearly half of the house and started to feel in control of the move and a lot less overwhelmed.

This week I nearly had a blip in my mojo, why? Simple, I allowed myself to think about the next stage of the move - taking everything out of storage and onto the new house - no, no, no that is not a clever thing to do, that leads to way too many thoughts happening all at the same time in my brain.

Staying focused on each individual task has been so important in keeping this move on track, without this focus I would still be sat worrying about how I was going to do this (mostly by myself) rather than actually doing it.

Today is my last day in the house, a van is booked for the furniture in the morning and I am clearing and cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms. I am smiling quietly to myself as I have finally put into practice what I have been coaching others to do for many years. With small business start ups I have always kept them focused and on track by helping them to draft a business plan and breaking down the business development process into manageable chunks. Keeping them focused on the next step rather than 10 steps down the line.

Unravelling actions has been like clearing this very disorganised and messy cupboard, I have had to do it one thought at a time, one task at a time, clearing a path like a walkway through a forest. This cupboard will be cleared one item at a time.

This house will be empty in the morning, because it was cleared and sorted one room at a time and tomorrow I will have completed the first step in this journey. I will take a break, breath some fresh air and prepare myself for the next step in a few weeks and complete that before I consider what to do next

Second Chances

How many times have you thought "If only I knew that then" or "I would never have done that if I'd known...." 


Hindsight is such a wonderful thing isn't it? 

Or is it?

All too often looking back is a draining and somewhat demoralising experience, we can spend hours or days or even months dwelling on what has passed and how we misjudged a situation or made a bad decision. Agonising over tiny details can lead to anxiety, anger or bitterness and an inability to move on sometimes making us feel depressed.

During coaching and training sessions I encourage clients to look forward and embrace possibilities rather than dwell on what is past and no longer here. 

Well, what if looking back can help shape a more positive future? 

What if looking back helps you pinpoint errors, highlight them and resolve not to repeat them?

What if making this the starting point of a new beginning, a way of wiping the slate clean and setting in place a plan that will turn your life around and help you create a life that sets you free rather than constrains you?

Writing this blog is the first step in achieving this for me. I want to create a life that allows me to be creative, challenges me intellectually and is not so financially draining that I am lurching from one panic-ridden month to the next worrying about how I am going to pay the bills. I figure that if I share my journey, thoughts and experiences I can stay focused and on track. Hopefully, that sharing will help others facing challenges and difficult choices too. I am going to use my very best coaching skills and practice what I preach for the first time ever (honest). I may fall off track occasionally, but I will ask for help when that happens (another first).

I want to stop the cycle of highs and lows so that I can get  my mojo working - creatively, professionally and personally. I want to stop the short bursts of inspiration followed by rapid all engulfing action, which invariably leads to complete exhaustion and a loss of mojo; an almost perfect circle.


The second step is to simplify my finances and top of that list is the biggest expense I have bar none - my house.  

I bought this house after my divorce and used my entire financial settlement and a fairly large mortgage to renovate and extend it. It turned into a protracted project that invariably cost way more than I had budgeted - why this was a surprise I don't know,  I have been watching Grand Designs for the past decade I should have known! 

Anyway needless to say I ended up living to the maximum of my means leaving little or no security. So when I decided to build a small creative business in 2011 and leave my full time job, with no savings, nothing could have prepared me for the financial avalanche that ensued, I played chicken with my credit card for over a year before accepting that something had to give. That something had to be the house. 

Thankfully it sold  last week, well hopefully once the contracts are exchanged and when it is complete I have worked out that I will have precisely, almost to the penny EXACTLY the amount of cash I had when my divorce was finalised. Not much to show for 4 years hard graft, blood, sweat and many tears I know, but I am not going to dwell on that. I am going to use this valuable hindsight to my advantage.

The project was probably not the best idea I ever had, but I have a choice, I can see it as a big mistake and the reason I am in a bit of a pickle and allow it to engulf me in a wave a remorse, resentment and despair, OR I can choose to see it as a second chance, a lucky escape, a way of putting right the decisions I made four years ago and learn from them. I can choose different options this time and make decisions based on my new knowledge and experience. Which is precisely what I am going to do.

I don't know precisely how to earn a living doing what I dearly love, or where exactly I want to be, but I do know what I don't want, so I am starting with that and top of that list is the following: a huge mortgage, to be far from my family and friends, a full time job in an office 9-5, to stay in at the weekends and never take a holiday.

For now that is a good starting place. I have also learnt that I won't achieve ALL of my aims in one move so to be patient and to compromise a little can be the first things on my list of wants. 

This weekend I will  sit and sketch out a rough plan to get the thoughts that are swimming around in my head onto paper, because thinking about everything all at once is seriously clogging my brain and sapping my mojo. Then I am going to enjoy each and every step of this, possibly long journey, whilst viewing potential new homes.

Wish me luck!